Crossover: Setting the Example for True Insanity
by My Name Is NOT Jessica
Summary: What happens when The Flock meets Bella and Edward, then Artemis Fowl, Harry Potter and Katniss Everdeen pop out of nowhere? Inludes many OCs and LOTS of OOCness and tons of randomness. Rated T for Tater-tots.
1. Chapter 1

**_A Gigantic Abundance of Random Crossover Crap_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own the following: Maximum Ride, Twilight, Artemis Fowl, Harry Potter, AND/OR The Hunger Games. *sob* Too....much....stuff....that I don't........own....*dies* I mean, seriously, cant I own just one little series? Or one character? Oh, wait I just remembered! I DO own: Snow, my Maximum Ride OC who I added here because she's awesomesauce AND Steve the Dancing Shark!!! And I own Kevin The Eskimo, Bubba the psychotic Easter Bunny, and Eyeball the um...eyeball. I don't own Jaybrams or Joe, cause they're actual people. I own myself though! Okay that sounded weird._**

**Chappie 1: Meet The Quacks**

**Max and the Flock were just randomly flying around in the general area of Forks, Washington one day, when this happened.**

Edward: Look, flying people! *points at Flock*

Bella: Magic!!!

Max: Magic has nothing to do with it.

Snow: This is SCIENCE!

*Artemis Fowl pops out of nowhere*

Artemis: Did somebody say science???

Nudge: Who are you? What are you doing here? Do you like cookies?

Angel: That's Artemis Fowl. You never know when and/or where he's gonna show up.

Bella: More magic!!

*Harry Potter pops out of nowhere*

Harry: Did somebody say magic??? *does random magic stuff*

Snow: Do the whitecoats have us on some new experimental drug or something?

Bella: That doesn't sound like a happy ending! *cries* I only like HAPPY endings!!!

Snow: *singing along* SO MUCH FOR MY HAPPY ENDING!

Artemis: *suddenly notices Flock's wings* What the...?! Human-Avian Hybrids???

Max: We prefer Avian-American.

Snow: Or just bird-freaks seems to work, too.

Nudge: Wait, so whose the dude with the scar??

Harry: I'm the chosen one!

Angel: Chosen for what?

Harry: I have to save the wizarding world from Voldemort!

Max: I have to save the world!

Artemis: I have to prevent a Cross-species war!

Butler: I have to save protect Artemis!

Holly: I have to prevent discovery of the People!

Edward: I have to protect Bella! *stands in front of Bella and growls*

Bella: *gets all googly-eyed*

Snow: You don't set very high goals do you?

Edward: *defensively* It's harder than it sounds!

Katniss: I have to save myself, my sister, Peeta, and District 12!

Nudge: When did you get here?

Snow: Tell me we're not in the middle of a hunger games arena.

Katniss: Unfortunately...

**At which point several psychotic Tributes, Erasers, Death-Eaters, B'wa Kell and Volturi crashed into the clearing.**

Tributes, Erasers, Death-Eaters, B'wa Kell and Opal, James, Victoria, New-Borns and Volturi: GRRR! ARGH! FEAR US!!!

Snow: WHAT THE FNICK?!?!

*a humongous fight breaks out*

Edward: *Using awesomesauce vampire speed to protect Bella*

Bella: *hiding behind Edward, crying*

Max, Fang, Iggy, Snow, Nudge: *Flying above, fighting Erasers in the air, using awesomesauce bird-kid powers*

Gazzy: *Using his, err, gift, to ward off enemies*

Angel: *Using freaky mind control on anyone who comes near*

Harry: *Using awesomesauce magic curses and stuff to fend off Death-Eaters*

Artemis: *Hiding behind rock*

Katniss: *sitting in tree, using arrows to kill off other tributes, one by one (except Peeta, obviously)*

**Soon, the only people left standing were....**

**The Volturi!**

**Ari!**

**Opal Koboi!**

**Aaaaand....Voldemort!**

**Suddenly, a portal to an alternate universe with a taste for evil opens up!**

The Volturi: We will retuuuuurn!! *get sucked into portal*

Ari: This isn't over, Freeeaaaks!!!!! *gets sucked into portal*

Opal Koboi: I will have my reeeeveeengeeee!!! *gets sucked into portal*

Voldemort: Mwahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! *get sucked into portal*

**Sounds of screaming and splashing is heard from portal. Suddenly, the portal spits out a shark.**

Shark: Graaaaawgh!!!

Katniss, Artemis and Co., Harry, and Bella: AHHHH! *back away really fast*

Flock, except Angel: *shoots up into air*

Edward: Bad shark! *rips up tree and starts hitting shark on head repeatedly with it*

Bella: My hero! *gets all googly-eyed again*

Snow: *rolls eyes*

Angel: Stop hurting Steve!!!!

Nudge: Steve? Who's Steve?

Angel: *point at shark* He only wants to tap dance!

Max: The shark wants to tap dance?

**Steve the Shark stood up on the end of his fin gracefully. All of our heroes watched in awe as Steve began majestically dancing around the clearing.**

Max: I think we _are_ on some experimental drug.

Snow: These people are quacks.

Angel: Up and away?

The rest of the Flock: Totally!

**The Flock then proceeded to execute the "up" portion of their much overused maneuver.**

Artemis: Nooo! *chases after Flock* Come back, Hybrids!!!! I want to study youuu!

Snow: *points at Artemis* Miniature Whitecoat!!! AHHHH!

**The Flock then proceeded to fly away at top speed, until...**

Voice: MAX GO MAKE CONNECTIONS!

Max: Change of plans! We're going to go make connections with those quacks down there!

**At this point, "those quacks down there" noticed Max pointing at them, and proceeded to wave stupidly.**

Snow: *sarcastically* Yay...

Max: So, who ARE you people, anyway?

Edward: I'm Edward Cullen, and this is my wife Bella.

Bella: We're vampires.

Max: Sure ya are.

Artemis: I'm Artemis Fowl, the young criminal mastermind.

Harry: I'm Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived! Perhaps you've heard of me?

**At which point everyone proceeded to stare at the Chosen One blankly.**

Harry: Erm, maybe not then...

Katniss: I'm Katniss Everdeen.

Iggy: And...?

Katniss: I'm the only person who ever defied the Capitol and lived, One half of the only _Two _people to survive the Hunger Games.

Max: The Capitol? Like, Washington D.C.?

Snow: Hunger Games?

Katniss: Long story.

Artemis: So who are you, hybrids?

Max: We're The Flock. I'm Max. That's Fang, Iggy, Snow, Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel.

Total: Ahem!

Max: And Total. The talking dog.

Fang: We're...experiments.

Snow: *proudly* The first successful recombinants.

Edward: And you said _we_ were quacks.

Gazzy: *muttering* You are.

**Edward then took this opportunity to practice his death-glare on Gazzy. Gazzy was unphased.**

Gazzy: You call that a death-glare?

Max: _This_ is a death-glare.

**Max then took this opportunity to demonstrate a proper death-glare. Our heroes, excluding The Flock, cowered in fear.**

Steve: Grawwwr...

Angel: That's right Steve.

**There was then an awkward silence**.

Snow: Anyway...

Harry: Moving on...

Nudge: Omg! You know the anyway/moving on code???

Harry: Yep.

**This marks the end of the first chapter of what could very well be the weirdest crossover ever.**

**_Omg that was fun! It seemed to write itself. To clear up questions beforehand, Snow is the Institute bird-girl. I wrote a Fanfic about her, but I haven't posted it yet and I don't know if I will sooo....yeah. Kevin, Bubba, Jaybrams, Joe and Eyeball will come in next chapter, but I put them there because I'm not doing a whole new disclaima for each chapta. BUT WAIT I FORGOT SOMEONE I OWN! . Dr. MicMuffintop. Oh, and Jaybrams owns Beardy MicMisterMin. We made them up at my b-day party. They're cousins. Dr. McMuffintop is the only doctor for fictional characters in the world and Beardy MicMistermin is a caveman with an obsession for meatballs._**

**_Soo anyway I will put up the next chappie as soon as possible, cuz I have it all written and stuff, but I want to know some people are reading this before I do. So Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Review, and Rate. LoL Rate you're the misfit._**

**_Rate: D:_**

**_Sorry, I had a psycho moment. But anyway BYEAS! _**

**_*press the button.....You know you want to....and if your jpfreak100 then you have to.... Press it.....*_**


	2. Chapter 2

Chappie 2

**At this particular moment, our heroes were sitting in a circle. They had passed the awkward introductions stage, and now they were all friends/enemies!**

...

Katniss: Sooo...

Harry: Now what?

Max: I say we vote out all sparkling people.

Edward: I say we vote out all people who are only 98% human.

**Max executed a Death-Glare aimed at Edward. Edward attempted to do the same, but failed miserably.** **The Flock then smirked.**

Artemis: Anyway...

Snow: Moving on...

Nudge: I'm soooo bored! Why isn't there, like, a mall here?

Iggy: Nudge. We're in a clearing in the middle of a forest in the middle of nowhere. There's not going to be a mall here.

Nudge: *pouts*

**Suddenly, a portal opened up. The portal proceeded to spit out several people. Among these people were: Jacob Black, Valencia Martinez, Jeb Batchelder, Haymitch, Peeta, Professor Albus Dumbledore, an Eskimo, Jaybrams, a giant eyeball, a demented Easter bunny and a dude named Joe**

Bella: Jacob!

Edward: *glares at Jacob*

Jacob: Sup?

Max: Mom!

The Flock: Dr. Martinez!

Dr. M: Hi kids!

Max: AHH IT'S JEB!

The Flock: AHHHH!

Jeb: :(

Katniss: Haymitch! Peeta!

Haymitch: *stumbles around drunkenly*

Peeta: Katniss!

Harry: Professor Dumbledore!

Dumbledore: Ah, hello Harry.

Steve: Rawren! Rawrums! Rawrall! Rawra!

Eskimo: Blubber!

Jaybrams: Steve!

Eyeball: *joyfully* Grrr!

Easter Bunny: HAHAAHEE!

**Everyone then turned to Angel.**

Max: Care to translate?

Angel: From what I can tell, that's Kevin *points at eskimo*

Angel: *walks up to Jaybrams* This is Jaybrams.

**Let it be understood that Jaybrams was no normal looking character. She was pale, yet still had dozens of freckles, she had frizzy auburn hair almost past her waist. She was wearing a black trench coat, black sunglasses, black boots, and carrying a black umbrella. **

Angel: *gestures to eyeball* That is Eyeball.

Eyeball: Grr.

Angel: Um, and this is Bubba. *indicates that it is easter bunny she is talking about*

Bubba: HAOOOHOI!

Dr. M: Um...

Edward: So anyway...

Bella: This is Jacob. He's a werewolf.

Jacob: It's true.

Max: Like, an eraser, sorta?

**The Flock got in a defensive stance**.

Bella: Eraser?

Jacob: Like, on a pencil?

Max: Whatever.

Dr. M: I'm Dr. Martinez, Max's mom.

Jeb: I'm Jeb.

**The Flock executed a Death Glare at Jeb.**

Jeb: :(

Snow: HAH!

Katniss: This is Haymitch.

Haymitch: *Falls over*

Katniss: And this is Peeta.

Peeta: Hello everyone.

Harry: This is Professor Dumbledore, the headmaster at Hogwarts.

Katniss: Hogwarts?

Max: Is he at all like the headhunter back in Virginia?

Dumbledore: Hello.

Steve: Rawr are Rawren**. Translation: This is Kevin**.

Kevin: Blubber!

Steve: Rawr are Rawrums**. Translation: This is Jaybrams**.

Jaybrams: Never sniff a chicken wing!

Steve: Rawr are Rawrall**. Translation: This is Eyeball**.

Eyeball: *cordially* Gr.

Steve: Rawg rawr are Rawra. **Translation: And this is Bubba.**

Bubba: HAHAHOOOHAHEEE!

Jaybrams: *whips off sunglasses* Beware the twelfth grade year olds.

**That was when a sudden torrential downpour came down**.

Jaybrams: *runs in circles, completely forgetting the umbrella in her hand* RUN! RUN! IT'S LOW-FAT!

Kevin: *runs in circles* BLUBBER!

Steve: *flops about* GRAWWWRGH!

Bubba: *begins chasing Peeta around* HAAAHHOOOOHEEEAAHOODLE!

Peeta: This is so weird!

**Peeta is disturbed by the lack of normal people. He is standing in a clearing in the middle of nowhere with two vampires, one werewolf, six bird-kids, two wizards, a genius, a giant eyeball, a giant rabbit, a dancing shark, an eskimo, a very strange-looking girl, and quite a few other people. Traumatizing. **

**And this was before Eyeball began eating people.**

**Eyeballs are very sensitive, you know. At this particular moment, a drop of water landed in Eyeball, causing him to tear up and blink rapidly. But Eyeball was no ordinary eyeball, so he didn't do just normal eyeball things. Other than tearing up and blinking rapidly, Eyeball went into a rampage, and grew teeth and tentacles at will. **

**Eyeball then began chasing Harry, Artemis and Nudge around.**

Eyeball: CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP

Nudge: AHHH! *flies*

Harry: AHHH! *hops on broomstick*

Artemis: No fair! I don't have a way to fly!

Max: IN YO FACE!

Snow: LOSA!

**The dude named Joe had been sitting on a stump muttering to himself this whole time. You see, Joe knew The Author, and had scoffed at her "obsession" with these characters. But now, The Author had grown sick of his immature insults and had decided to write him into the story. **

**This story was really just a random place where The Author came when she was in a hyper or psychotic mood. At this particular moment, The Author was both Hyper and Psychotic, therefore causing her to scream, cry, yell and blow up in the face of whoever insulted her. Unfortunately for Joe, he had an annoying habit of insulting The Author. Causing The Author to scream, yell, blow up in his face, and write him into her most psychotic story, where he would meet an unfortunate end at the hands of a certain angry Eyeball. **

Joe: *muttering* They're real, they're real...

Artemis: *Still being chased, runs near Joe's stump*

Eyeball: CHOMP CHOMP YUMMY! *catches sight of Joe and thinks he would make a good snack*

Joe: *preoccupied, doesn't notice Eyeball drawing near*

Eyeball: CHOMP YUM YUM GULPERS!

**In the blink of an eye, Joe was gone, guzzled up by Eyeball. There was a collective gasp from the crowd. Eyeball chewed slowly, apparently enjoying the flavor of the egotistical twit. Bella fainted. Then, there was a shocked silence.**

**Jaybrams stood in front of the crowd, as if she was about to make a speech. Instead, she pointed her umbrella at the masses, who were huddled together. Taking careful aim, Jaybrams stood very still with her umbrella straight outward. After several seconds of stillness and silence, Jaybrams opened her umbrella with a single, fluid motion. The umbrella unfolded outward quickly, causing the crowd to jump back and scream. Satisfied, Jaybrams then held her umbrella up to the sky and floated away.**

**Eyeball belched and began looking around for another snack.**


	3. Chapter 3

___** Hey guys! It's 1 A.M., anyone else feeling Crossover-y? Sorry for the long wait, I honestly forgot about this chapter, gathering dust in my gmail docs. Thank Gosh for insomnia, eh? Anywho, here it is!**_

* * *

**Let it be known that Eyeball was still on the rampage, because it was still raining. Please recall that Eyeball had been chasing Harry, Artemis and Nudge. Harry and Nudge had tactfully used the resources available to escape through the air, but Artemis had yet to escape the evil clutches of a hungry eyeball.**

Artemis: AHHH! *still running*

Eyeball: HUNGRY GRRRRR! *still chasing*

**Eyeball was just about to eat Artemis when, suddenly, there was a flash of lightning and a crack of thunder, and a teenage girl wearing a green sweatshirt and jeans appeared out of nowhere, pointed a finger at Eyeball, and screamed "DESIST!"**

**Eyeball desisted.**

Max: Who the heck are you?

Bella: Don't hurt meee!

Edward: *growls*

Teenage Girl: **I am The Author.**

Everyone: *gasp*

Harry: But your, like, thirteen!

The Author:** So?**

Max: *suspiciously* Sounds like The Director...

The Author:** I don't associate with The Director.**

**The Author put Eyeball on a leash. **

Eyeball: :(

The Author: **That's what you get for trying to eat Nudge, Harry and Artemis.**

Katniss: Wait...If you're The Author, wouldn't you be able to control him?

The Author: *sheepishly* **Well...I sorta...lost control of the keys...**

Everyone: *gasp*!

Bella: We could've been killed!

The Author: **Well, being a fictional character is a dangerous job! And keys are very hard to control...Especially with upward of 25 characters in a single scene...**

Jacob: So get rid of someone!

The Author**: Fine! Eyeball, Bubba, Kevin, Steve, Albus, Peeta, Haymitch, Jeb, and Valencia, come with me.**

**Suddenly, a portal opened up, and The Author stood next to it while Eyeball, Bubba, Kevin, Steve, Professor Dumbledore, Peeta, Haymitch, Jeb and Dr. Martinez jumped in. Then the portal spit out a scientist/doctor-y looking person.**

The Author: **This is , the only doctor for fictional characters. He's an OC, one of my finer works. **

The Author: **Doctor, this is Edward and Bella Cullen, Max Ride, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, Angel, who don't really have last names, Artemis Fowl, Harry Potter and Katniss Everdeen.**

Snow: Hey you forgot me!

The Author: **McMuffintop already knows you, Snow.**

Snow: I have never seen him before in my life, unless he used to work at The Institute.

The Author: **You used to live in my attic, where I kept all my OCs in case I ever needed them. When the idea for Winging It came along, I wiped your memory and wrote your story.**

Snow: Whaaatever.

The Author: ***proudly* Just like I wrote you.**

Snow: *weirded out*

Artemis: But wait...why do we need a fictional character doctor?

The Author: **Oh, I have a feeling you'll need him soon enough...**

Bella: I'm scared!

The Author: **Now I'm going to have to wipe everyone's memories...**

**The Author threw some magical dust into the air and jumped into the portal. **

**Our heroes woke up from a dreamless slumber, without remembering falling asleep.**

Snow: I had the weirdest dream...about an attic...full of people...

Harry: Weird.

Snow: Exceedingly.


End file.
